About dreams

   This time, I really thought I was living my dream. Everything looked so real, the people and their concerns. They didn’t seem to be following whatever I wanted them to do; they actually seemed to be doing what they wanted. The places looked so authentic, real and well crafted. I have no idea how my brain created that place I was in just some minutes ago but I think I wouldn’t mind going back some day. The difficult thing is that I have to be really tired and not being able to sleep a lot in order to go so deep into my dreams.

 Waking up gets so much harder like that… I would love to be able to choose everything inside a dream. Not only who appears and how, but also the setting and the story and, of course, the length of it all. They are some delicious dreams that make you believe you are on top of the world and, often, they only last a few minutes or at least feel like it. I would love to be able to choose everything because dreams are the best doors to access when the eyes are getting closed and resting is the prime objective of the evening. I love when it happens.

 Thankfully, I haven’t had a bad dream in a very long time. I actually don’t remember when that happened and I think it’s better if I don’t try to recall that event. Nightmares are awful and populated by the most disgusting creatures our mind could ever control. Nightmares are chaotic and that feeling of not being able to get hold of anything is the one that really makes us wake up sweating or screaming. Is not what actually happens, which we know is false, but rather the sense that we are not safe anywhere, even inside our heads.

 But yeah, nightmares have been off the table for a while or at least the ones that are openly awful. I have had dreams that are strange and difficult to understand. Even there, in the middle of the dream, I know that nothing is real but at the same time I know that there’s nothing that makes sense and that makes it worse somehow. Knowing that you are dreaming makes everything a little bit more real, for the better or for worse. But I think I prefer it most of the time, it kind of gives me the idea that I am a little bit more in control.

 Right now, my body hurts a little bit but that’s because I didn’t slept a right amount of time. I push myself to do things no one is asking me to do and they have this negative effects on me. Feeling like crap when I wake up is nothing really knew for me but it’s even harder and more painful when I push too hard and when there’s a dream involved. I feel I slept during a movie and now I will never know the end because it was a one time in my life kind of thing.

 What I like about dreams is that, if your head is up to it, anything can happen. You might have one of those dreams in which you fall and fall and fall through a various array of holes but you could also meet someone you haven’t seen for many years. I think the brain creates whatever is better for us at that moment: if we need a hug, it will create someone that can give it to us. If we want to feel smart, our brain will go back to a moment we felt exceedingly brilliant. Of course, things can be a lot more complex than that. Just like in real life.

 I believe that in every single dream, you have the capacity to intervene and make it yours. Many people thing they are passive subjects when they dream, having to go through some determined events in order to get to the final part of the dream where you may have some kind of revelation or maybe just wake up thinking nothing at all. I do think you can use your mind to affect the outcome of any dream and I even think you can decide when it should end, all of this in the right sleeping conditions, as they are not all ideal.

 For me, dreams are the base of what I try to do. I have been creating things out of them for a long time and if it wasn’t for that subconscious part of my brain, I wouldn’t have as many ideas as I have. I’m not saying that they are all amazing ideas that have to go somewhere but I do like that my brain keeps creating, even if just changing a little bit of some ideas that I have had before or even twisting stories that I have read or heard about. I have to admit that I am probably not one hundred percent original at all times. It would be very hard.

 What I don’t like about waking up from a not satisfying night of sleeping is that, for the rest of the day, I feel like there’s something missing and I’m right. Because what I miss is rest and what I have is an unfulfilling dream and there is nothing in the world that can make that feeling go away. That feeling of being tired and not fulfilled by anything. In those cases, dreaming come too close to actual living and, I have to say, I don’t care about that one bit. If dreams become as heavy as life, then the magic is lifted and everything goes to dust.

 I already have a real life and, although it’s fun when dreams imitate life, I know how to tell apart the imitation from the actual thing. If they both become the same thing, a very essential way to cope disappears into the world. It’s scary to think that we might, one day, not be able to dream again. Some people actively try to eliminate that experience from the nights because they think it makes them feel weak, because it scares them. They don’t want to face themselves and they hide behind any possibility in order not to do it.

 I think it makes us very human, although it also makes us a little bit paranoid from time to time but I do not think that’s always something wrong. I think it’s great when there’s something in life that can shake us so much. And who better to do that than ourselves. We are the ones creating those dreams after all and we cannot be afraid of our own selves. It is simply ridiculous to hide away from who we really are, whoever that person might be. People have to stop living in fear and embrace whatever character may lurk in the darkness.

 Of course, the word “darkness” doesn’t mean that everything buried deep inside us has to be bad or anything. There can be very good things in the dark too but we will never find out if we don’t dare to take a look. And the perfect place to do it is in a dream, where nothing can really hurt us. We have to learn to be scared and to cry and even to scream. We have to accept that some parts of life are more difficult than others. We have to learn how to look at ourselves in the mirror, without any fear but with our eyes wide open.

 All of this sounds so weird, so insane. But anyone that has ever dreamed can easily understand what I’m saying. It is a world of wonder but also a place where we can learn so much about who we really are. We don’t find out about that going to the other end of the world but just hearing and watching what our brain is telling us, all those things buried below the surface of our own personalities. Everything that we area is there, waiting to be able to surface or at least the be represented in some capacity in the real world.

 We all have bad thing and good things. No one is saying that we are going to like every single thing about our personality that we find deep inside our subconscious. But we have to acknowledge its existence in order to be able to handle it correctly. If life gives us the possibility of learning more and maybe improve in some areas of our lives, I think the smart choice is to take that chance and exploit it as much as we can. Knowledge has never really been a curse, only for the ignorant and the ones that live in fear but not for the brave.

 And brave we shall be. Yes, even when we go to bed and close our eyes or when we open them and realize we are in a brand new day. No matter where we are sleeping or who is next to us. We have to be brave in order to accept who we are and dreams are made of us. Their fabric is our life and our thoughts, so we have to learn to embrace it in order to have a stable mind and heart. No one says dreaming is easy, it never is. But it’s the first step to greater things.

Poderes

   La pasarela elevada pasaba sobre los cinco depósitos de químicos de la fábrica. El primer en llegar fue Félix, que parecía no poder respirar y sin embargo corría todo lo que podía sin mirar atrás. Cuando estuvo encima del tercer tanque, se detuvo para ver si Marcos lo había seguido.

 En efecto, Marcos venían corriendo detrás pero lo malo era lo que venía detrás de él: era una criatura que helaba la sangre solo de verla. En apariencia era como una serpiente, solo que esta serpiente medía una docena de metros de largo y era gruesa como el tronco de un árbol. Subía por la escalerilla que daba acceso a la pasarela elevada con una habilidad que daba susto. Marcos corría lo más rápido que podía y le indicó a Félix que debía seguir su camino también o ambos serían comida de reptiles.

 La criatura se desenrolló en la pasarela flotante y con agilidad se deslizó por encima del frío metal que constituía la estructura de la especie de puente que unía un extremo al otro de la fábrica. Los de abajo eran químicos altamente corrosivos que se usaban para la creación de varios tipos de productos para la limpieza. Era un poco extraño que esa fuera la guarida de uno de los criminales más buscados por la policía pero así era. El hombre llamado la Sombra tenía su base de operaciones debajo de la estructura, en sótanos adecuados para sus actividades. Y allí también residía su mascota, la que ahora perseguía a Marcos y a Félix.

 En un momento, la criatura se enroscó en un mismo sitio y pegó un salto hacia delante, como un resorte. Félix ya había llegado al otro lado de la pasarela pero Marcos no podía correr tanto por una torcedura de tobillo que hacía que dada paso fuese un poco más difícil. Cuando la criatura saltó, le cayó muy cerca, tanto que la serpiente pudo lamerle la planta de uno de sus zapatos con su lengua bífida.

 Entonces la serpiente volvió a recoger para saltar de nuevo. Marcos había caído al suelo y no podía pararse, su pie estaba ya fracturado y sentía que se empezaba a hinchar. No había ya ninguna opción de escapatoria. Los ojos de la serpiente brillaron, contenta de haber podido atrapar al menos a uno de los hombres que estaban persiguiendo. Presionó su cuerpo sobre si mismo y volvió a saltar, dirigiendo su enorme cabeza hacia la Marcos, para tragarlo de un bocado.

 Pero la serpiente nunca cayó sobré él sino que frenó en la mitad del aire y quedó allí, congelada en el tiempo como un muñeco. Se notaba incomoda y su nerviosismo aumentó cuando en vez de estar sobre la pasarela, pasó a estar sobre uno de los tanques de químicos. Antes de caer, abrió los ojos y soltó un chillido horrible. Momentos después, su cuerpo se deshacía en un liquido de color verde esmeralda.

 Marcos respiraba deprisa. Había estado muy cerca de morir pero había visto como había pasado todo: era Félix quién había utilizado su capacidad mental para controlar a la serpiente y hacerla caer en el lugar equivocado. No hubo conversación ni felicitaciones ni nada parecido. Félix ayudó a Marcos a ponerse de pie y con sus poderes lo bajó de la pasarela flotante. Una vez abajo, se dirigieron al estacionamiento de la fábrica de donde robaron uno de los vehículos. Ya un poco lejos, escucharon una fuerte explosión. No se miraron ni dijeron nada pero ambos supusieron lo que era.

 Félix condujo por varias horas hasta llegar a un lugar en el que nadie los conociera. No podían quedarse en la ciudad pues era obvio que la Sombra iba a perseguirlos para vengar la muerte de su mascota y el descubrimiento de su guarida. Después de varias horas en la carretera, llegaron a un bosque tupido, lleno de pinos y eucaliptos y otros árboles enormes. A un lado de la carretera alquilaban cabinas en el bosque para las personas que venían a pescar y a cazar.

 La joven que los atendió estaba visiblemente aburrida pero pareció estar interesada por la ropa de los dos, pues estaba quemada en parte y olía mucho a químicos. Además, era evidente que no venían al bosque a pescar o cazar pues no se veía el equipo por ningún lado. De pronto era fugitivos o incluso una pareja en un arranque pasional. La chica pensó todo esto en un momento, mientras Félix firmaba el libro del hotel y pagaba por una semana de estadía de contado. Marcos se apoyaba sobre el mostrador: su tobillo estaba mucho más hinchado que antes.

 La chica les dio un mapa de los caminos y les indicó que su cabaña era la número diez, justo del otro lado del lago. Por el tobillo de Marcos, se demoraron tanto en caminar al lugar que la tarde cayó pronto sobre ellos y tuvieron que abrir la puerta del lugar a tientas. Lo bueno era que tenía luz eléctrica y agua caliente. Lo malo era que habían bichos, como hormigas y unas cucarachas pequeñas. Era lo mínimo que tendrían que soportar con tal de pasar algunos días fuera del radar.

 Félix ayudó a Marcos a entrar en la bañera que había en el cuarto de baño. Le había insistido que se quitara la ropa para estar más cómodo pero Marcos se había negado, subiéndose los pantalones y quitándose zapatos y medias y nada más. Así se metió a la bañera que Félix llenó de agua tibia. Dejó que flotara allí el tiempo que quisiera mientras él se quitó todo la ropa en la habitación y decidió salir al lago y nadar bajo la luz de la luna llena. Era algo muy liberador flotar por allí, bañarse en la más hermosa soledad, únicamente acompañado por la grandeza de la luna.

 Félix se dio cuenta al oír el chapoteo. Trató de salir de la bañera pero casi no pudo ponerse de pie para salir. No solo era difícil apoyar el tobillo hinchado sino que la ropa mojada ejercía un peso enorme sobre él. Para cuando fue capaz de salir, se resbaló sobre el borde de la bañera e hizo un desastre en el suelo. Félix lo encontró minutos después, empapado y con la mandíbula contra el piso, incapaz de moverse. Parecía un pescado ya atrapado por las redes.

 Félix tenía alrededor de su cuerpo una toalla bastante pequeña pues solo había una para cuerpo entero y la había traído para Marcos. Pero en vez de usarla, lo ayudó a sentarse y le dijo que debía quitarse la ropa y pasar más tiempo en la bañera o al menos quitársela para poder dormir tranquilo. Como Marcos no respondió al instante, Félix se le quedó mirando y con sus poderes arrancó la camiseta y los pantalones de su cuerpo. Quedó solo en los calzoncillos bancos que tenía puestos.

 Su cara se puso roja y después discutió con Félix por haberlo hecho a la fuerza pero este no se disculpó. Solo lo ayudó a ponerse de pie y lo ayudó a ir hasta la cama. Eran dos camas sencillas, una al lado de la otra. La de Marcos estaba de lado del baño, la de Félix al lado de la ventana. Félix se acostó mirando al techo, habiendo ya apagado la luz. Marcos solo podía dormir boca abajo pero no era una opción sencilla con el dolor de tobillo. Por eso se hizo de lado, mirando a su compañero.

 De la nada, le preguntó por sus poderes. Solo conocía a otra persona que podía hacer algo parecido y no era tan sorprendente como lo que él hacía. Félix respondió que había descubierto lo que podía hacer desde que era joven y que había aprendido en secreto a manipularlo. Marcos no entendió porque escondía sus poderes, a lo que Félix respondió que cualquiera que supiera mucho de ellos seguramente quisiera aprovecharlos para su propio beneficio.

 Marcos asintió en la oscuridad. Tenía la toalla bien apretada alrededor de su cuerpo. Estaba casi desnudo, con un tobillo hinchado, al lado de un tipo que había conocido hacía menos de un día. Por alguna razón, los dos habían estado en la guardia de Sombra al mismo tiempo. No habían hablado de las razones pero Marcos asumía que los dos querían destruirlo todo y destapar el imperio criminal de la Sombra.

 Pero eso era una suposición. En la oscuridad, se quedó mirando a Félix un buen rato, preguntándose por la verdad. Después de un rato le entró el sueño, a la vez que oía la respiración pausada de su compañero. Antes de caer en los brazos de Morfeo, tuvo una visión de los ojos de Félix. Era sorprendentemente parecido a los de la serpiente.

The killer

   No matter how loud she got, it wasn’t loud enough for anyone to hear her, after all, it was very late at night in a small city in which people always went to bed exactly a the same hour. And even if they didn’t fall asleep, they were inside their homes, unable to help anyone in need. Some said, days later, that they had heard a scream coming from somewhere that night. Psychologists said the people that swore by that were just guilty, saying things that didn’t happen.

 She yelled and screamed more than once. She fought her attacker with everything she had: her purse, her heels, but nothing worked. And least of all against his knife, which turned the street into a butcher’s shop. The police had a real problem when discovering the body because she hadn’t been murdered in alley or by a river. Veronica Slate had been assassinated two blocks away from her house, the night she was graduating from a business class.

 The killer’s face was known to no one and it was very possible that none of the town’s inhabitants had ever seen him. Mainly, because he had never been there before and would never come back. He had no need to and he was dedicated to what he did so he knew exactly how to do things, how not to be predictable and silly over such obvious things as location. People invented his face in their minds, bases on images of killers they had seen in movies. Of course, they were not accurate.

 He moved on to another town and stayed there for a week in a small hotel by the main square. He had no urge there, no need to make a move. He just walked around and chilled until he decided it had been enough. He took another bus and there was a second victim by the end of a very traumatic week because of the celebrations of the national day and a scandal involving a senator and his daughter.

 The body of Rosa Pérez was found in the middle of the most used avenue in that town. It was a place filled with people every single day but, somehow, no one had seen anything. It was a bigger town than the one before so they were sure a camera would have picked up something. But it didn’t. There was nothing they could use, no witnesses again. And they didn’t consider the cases linked but an isolated and strange attack.

 Rosa worked near by, in laundry place that worked all night. She had a bag filled with dirty clothes the night she was killed. The killer had used a gun with a silencer and many people linked her death to gang violence or some sort of vengeance killing. Her children had to bury their mother without a single shadow of understanding above her case. No one knew anything, again.

 That month, another two women were killed by the same man. One was choked with her own necklace and the other one was run over by a car at least twice. The scenes were always disgusting and it was difficult for every policeman to process those cases, as they hated to get their hands to close to such horrifying situations. The coroners were in charge of everything and they were the ones telling the people what had happened and why. Yet, they were still such random acts of violence that no one dared to link one thing to the other.

 As for the killer, he stopped altogether for several months. He was an unstable person that was obvious. But he was and amazing actor too. Not that it was his job, but he could anyone believe whatever he wanted them to believe. Most people loved to think they lived in a perfect world, filled with magic and love ant only beautiful things. And he benefited from that, from ignorance and their willingness to simply ignore that evil was out there, walking the streets.

 He had killed people for a long time now and kept a list of how many he had killed. It was very uncommon, but he knew that one day he would be the one to go to the police and tell them he had done all of those murders, all of those noted in that small notebook. He had dates and sometimes even names. He knew that there would come a time when he wouldn’t be able to do it as he did it now so he had plans to surrender himself.

 In his mind, he would win in that case. He already had won in any case, because no one knew who he was or that he was the same attacker of all those women. He had a clear advantage over anyone that might investigate a little bit too much. He also thought that a very good detective would actually see clues all over the place. But this was reality and there were no Sherlock Holmes’ roaming the streets solving crimes.

 So he stopped for a few months but began again some time in the winter. To him, it was fun to do it in different places, different seasons and to different kind of people. He had even killed a couple of men but it didn’t feel exactly the same. He preferred women although the urge might come he would like to overcome someone as strong as him and that could prove to be interesting.

 His strength and with were his weapons, his most important ones. It didn’t matter what he used to actually killed somehow. Murder weapons could be anything in the world. But his head, his brain, was a machine that planned everything to perfection and that was the real weapon to be protected against. And no one knew it existed.

 He always read in the papers, the rare times his crimes made it there, that killers always had issues with their parents and had problems during sexual intercourse. The truth was he had always had the best relationship with his parents. He had always loved them and they had loved them back. He had the best education and a happy childhood filled with almost everything a child would love to have, including the unconditional love only two really good parents could give.

 As for the sex thing, he never had intercourse with his victims. That could prove too obvious to link all crimes, more over if he had an accident and left his DNA inside the women. No, he wasn’t that stupid so when he needed to have sexual interaction with someone, he would call a friend or hire a call girl. And he treated them right, always. He wasn’t too rough or violent; he was just like any other man. Except he was a murderer.

 Sometimes, he loved to imagine them discovering who he was. He was thrilled by that, the moment someone would notice something like a blood stained shirt or something similar, not that he would be that careless. But he always had fun picturing those ridiculous scenes, created out of movie scenes that always portrayed people’s ingenuity to perfection. But no one ever asked him anything; no woman ever said a word to him before or after sex. Nothing.

 That winter, he killed at least five women. One of them was killed in the middle of a road, so she was found several months later, when the snow began to disappear. Of course, every town and family was destroyed but he was never there to see or hear anything about it. He tried to avoid that because he was simply not interested in the result of what he did. Maybe that was the only thing that made him a little obvious, at least in his personal concept.

 He would love to get away as soon as possible and analyze his urges in order to know if he wanted to do it again or if he went back to his place, to his normal life with a job and a pet and friends. That man was a monster, no doubt. But he was also a neighbor, a coworker, the man you see walking down the street with a cup of coffee, rushing to the subway or smiling at something funny.

 Killers are people, people that have been deformed by what’s inside of them which can have several forms and shapes and interpretations. And this particular beast was one no one ever saw because they didn’t want to. They had refused to believe someone like them could be capable of what he was capable. And he like that.

Purple eyes

   The knight in shining armor was running through the hallways, make a clanking noise that was very hard to miss. He had entered the castle through the back, by a courtyard that had never been seen by eyes different than the ones of the cooks and maids that had worked there when the castle lived its golden age. Now, it building was empty and some areas were ruins, crumbling slowly into the ground.

 When he arrived at the end of one of the hallways, he took out a map from his pocket. It wasn’t very easy to take anything out of there with that costume on, so he decided to remove the leg parts in order to be faster. He wasn’t as big and powerful as one would guess so for a charming prince, but that’s what he was. He checked the map and then ran towards the left, down a very long corridor that connected the main part of the building with the south tower of the complex.

 He finally found the door that lead to the second tower. With one it of his sword, he was able to make the door collapse to the ground. He stepped on the remains of the door and started climbing the stairs, step by step. He got tired after the first fifty. He had to stop running so he sat down by a small opening to the side of the tower and saw the world from there. He could see the former gardens and the courtyard below but he was still too close to the ground to see any fantastic views.

 After a while, he kept on climbing, his armor was still making the clinking sound, with every single step he made. He stopped again after climbing for a long time and he saw, through another window, that he was close to his goal. He could see the road from the window and also the forest that existed between the castle and the rest of the civilized world. Some said the forest was created to keep everyone away from the castle but that hadn’t stopped many men from risking their lives and go there.

 Many died in the forest, attacked by packs of hungry wolves or by some huge bears that lived around. There were also rumors of ghosts and various monsters that only rose when the fog was thick or it was very late at night. But the biggest legend surrounding the area was that a dragon protected the building and it had burned knights to their deaths when they had tried to enter the castle without permission.

As he walked the few steps that distanced him from the room in the upper level of the tower, the knight celebrated the fact that he had wore the full armor to defend himself on his way to the top. He had killed a few wild animals with his sword but that was it. That’s why he felt that something was wrong. It had been too busy, not according to the legend that everyone knew by heart.

 When he got to the upper room, he knocked gently and presented himself as Knight of Vals and Dam, sir Tristane Deschamps. But even speaking loudly wasn’t good enough to make anyone open the door from inside. So he pushed the door opened and looked around to see if the rest of the legend was true. If there really was a very beautiful woman sleeping in the tower, waiting for someone to rescue her from imprisonment. He looked around but so no one.

 He entered the room and walked to what appeared to be a bed and checked, in order to know if the person that had lay there had left a moment ago or many years ago. He put his hand covered in metal on the bed and realized it was warm. There had been someone sleeping in it. Out of nowhere, a young woman appeared behind him and held him tightly with a knife to his throat. The knight felt hard to the floor. He couldn’t move there.

 The woman asked who he was and he repeated his name. Then she asked what he was doing there and he just looked at her a bit confused. He asked her if she wasn’t the beautiful lady that lived inside a castle waiting for a knight in shining armor to save her and take care of her for the rest of her life. She looked at him as if he had just heard someone speak in a strange language. The woman released him from her grip but told him to stay down.

 - You don’t need to rescue me.

 The knight was about to ask something else but then a sound was heard very loudly and appeared to come from the first floor. The knight had never heard anything like it, like a thousand lions roaring at the same time or many pieces of silverware falling to the ground. It was very unsettling and that’s why he couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything more that advise the woman to live the castle with her as she was in mortal danger if that was the dragon.

 She didn’t appear to listen, instead helping him getting up. She seemed to be thinking about something else or was at least too distracted by other thought in her mind. The knight insisted she should go with him in order to fulfill the legend. He knew that she would be very well received in his towns and that everyone would love her.

 That apparently convinced the young woman. She stopped walking around and told the knight she would go with him. They went out of the door and slowly walked back down, each step being easier as they headed to freedom and civilization. The knight was happy about it because he had never thought he would be able to fulfill such a difficult task.

 When they arrived to the back courtyard, through which the knight had arrived, the woman stopped running behind the man. She just stood there, like frozen in time. Her heart was racing but none of her limbs could move. He got near her and tried to determine what was wrong with her and he couldn’t point it out. The roaring of the dragon seemed to grow closer so he decided he would carry the princess to the backdoor but that didn’t work because, somehow, she was very heavy.

 He doubted that was something natural. It had to be some kind of black magic in order not to take the woman out of the castle without fighting the dragon. Probably, whoever put her there, had left very specific instructions in order to safe her and killing the dragon was probably one of those. So he let her where she was and he stepped into the grass patch of the courtyard and looked up.

 The dragon wasn’t flying, as he had thought. He appeared from the opposite side of the courtyard, tearing down a wall with its enormous paws. It was very big, just like a gigantic lizard with blackish wings and a sickening greenish skin. The dragon pushed the wall, launching several stones towards the knight. He avoided them easily. He decided to grab his sword and run towards the dragon. He had to fulfill his destiny.

 But his arms were almost broken when the sword hit the dragon’s skin and it did absolutely no damage. Not only that, but the body of the creature seemed so big and resistant, that the blow had actually affected the knight more than the dragon. The creature did nothing. He just watched him trying to feel his arms again and grabbing his sword to try again with same results.

 He then realized there was no way of killing the creature, so he ran towards the princess in order to wake her up from her trance. The dragon was only looking at him so he thought it was a safe thing to do. When he reached the woman, he realized she was very cold, her hands almost feeling like ice. The dragon watched as the knight tried like a fool to “wake” her up fro whatever was happening to her.

 But then the dragon just grew closer and ate the knight in one gulp. The girl was then able to move but her eyes were not the same as before. They were purple, just like the eyes of the dragon. She blinked and the dragon blinked. She thought about tearing down the wall and the dragon did exactly that with ease. The princess was the monster everyone was afraid of. That’s why she couldn’t leave her castle. Because she shouldn’t. There was no way in trying to prevent evil from pouring out of her. So she kept herself locked away, even if sometimes she needed to breath like anyone else, to run away.